You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
