Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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