Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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