3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
