Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
