Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
