At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
