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• (954): View more from Florida

  Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Is this the gay conversation?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..

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• (650): View more from California

  Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

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• (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...

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