they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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