My underwear smells like fireworks.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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