playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
