why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
