The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
