So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
