Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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