Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
