Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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