So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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