Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
