Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
