Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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