I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
