Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
