just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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