the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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