We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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