I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
