I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
