I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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