Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
