I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
