I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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