I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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