So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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