The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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