That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
