When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
