she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
