Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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