weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
