I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
