: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
