My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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