He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
