i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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