Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
