five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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