Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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