he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
