Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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