It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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